6/2/09

Status Report

I’m guessing most of you live in a world where you’re constantly being asked for status reports. “Just give me the topline,” as they say. To that end, because things are happening at such a rapid-fire pace around here, I’ve prepared the following status report for my fine readership. This should give you what you need to move forward. I’ve also taken the liberty of writing it in the business-like manner many of us are used to – for easier reading.

Vincent
Vincent is preparing to complete his two years of coursework at his first educational institution. Although a third year of preschool remains, he’ll be switching schools in the fall to further acclimate himself with his new team. The transition is expected to be seamless.

Recently, Vincent was the recipient of a generous transportation donation. Mom-Mom Corp, a division of Mommom and Grampa Inc., released the dollars to fund a new two-wheeler bicycle with training wheels that Vincent has quickly grown accustomed to. We’ve mapped out routes to the park using said vehicle and excitement is building considerably toward its daily usage.

Lastly, Vincent has discovered an archive in our technology department. Years back, before the big office move and during a period where our player was non-existent, Chachi Milk elected to shut down our VHS facility. We’ve since had the IT department work on restoring functionality allowing Vincent to view feature films he’d previously not seen (i.e. Pete’s Dragon, Lady & the Tramp).

Excitement levels for these projects are high.

Peter
Peter’s communication has been exemplary. His direction is clear and his follow-through is solid. If he says he’s going to eat peanut butter crackers, he takes the initiative to get them himself from the supply, select several and consume them. He’s a self-starter.

Research has been a key component of Peter’s growth. His reliance on books about colors, foods and trucks has driven his insight on these topics and his determination to return often is to be commended. We’ve recently extended our collection east to the Chester County Library System to leverage learning opportunities.

Peter’s waste management has also been a key discovery. He’s been efficiently communicating when waste is due to be released and will take direction to the facilities for proper dissemination. He’s even realized the value that privacy can bring to this process, thus allowing a faster learning curve. This achievement is considerable and his supervisor has recommended a promotion to training pants.

I’ve reviewed his performance and agree with the recommendation.

Conclusion
Please allow this report to give you the most up-to-date information on our current situation. Please respond with questions or concerns.

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