TVs, Waffles, & Bodily Functions

This past weekend we had our first extended outing as a four-piece. We had to go TV shopping. Ours is ten years old & blurry. We can't have Vincent's young eyes at 20/4000 before he's even 3.

Time permitting, we would also get groceries. Rosalie read that Earth's Best just put out organic, Sesame St. branded mini waffles http://www.earthsbest.com/sesame_street/products/category/267.php and made the mistake of telling Vincent. He wouldn't let us forget that we'd better come home with some damn waffles.

It started innocently enough. Peter slept through the entire TV shopping portion of the day (approx. 2:20 pm - 4:30pm) and Vincent enjoyed bouncing around the mall. We knew he would need a snack to keep him until dinner so we figured we would go to what I'll call, Grocery Store That's Not Trader Joe's (G.S.T.N.T.J), Vincent would come in with me, I'd get him some cheese while we shopped and Rose could feed Peter in the car (Ah, to be a woman - exposing yourself in a parking lot.).

The problem was that G.S.T.N.T.J. was awful and I couldn't find anything we needed (Is that their problem or mine? Let's blame them.). So just as Rose was about to feed Peter, I called and told her that the store was awful and I couldn't find anything we needed. I bought cheese for the V Man and we got out of there. By this time Peter was stirring and ready to eat. So instead of being smart and going home, we figured we'd stop at Trader Joe's (the greatest store ever) and repeat what we had attempted at G.S.T.N.T.J. Hell - it was only 3 minutes down the road.

Vincent and I shopped for about 30 min. When we got back to the car, Rose greeted me with a clear plastic bag containing the remains of an explosion these parts hadn't seen in a loooong time. Apparently, Peter took care of business a few minutes into his afternoon snack. While Rose was changing him, he made it very clear that he hadn't quite finished by...um...finishing... across the car and onto the driver's side seat. So my poor wife had to feed a crying infant and clean up the car at the same time. Which, I might add, she did a fantastic job of on both accounts.

Once order was restored and groceries were loaded, Vincent informed us that he had to do pee-pees. I grabbed his Sesame St. porta-seat and we headed back inside to Trader Joe's. The seat in the bathroom was large and difficult for a 2 1/2 year old to navigate so I figured I'd help the kid out by lifting his legs up a little bit to give his clothes half a chance of staying dry. He tried his best to hit the target but the seat it was just too tough and before I knew it, the levee had broken and the Trader Joe's bathroom floor was soaked.

I spent the next few minutes throwing paper towels down while simultaneously trying to keep Vincent from helping.

We got everything cleaned up (His clothes stayed dry! Woo-hoo!) and returned to the car to head home after spending a good hour in and around the store.

MORAL: When traveling as a four-piece, pay attention to the cues. If you've been out and about for a while and everything is going okay, GO HOME IMMEDIATELY. If you don't, you'll be cleaning poop off your car and cleaning pee off a public restroom floor very shortly.

We both agreed on the way home that we wouldn't have traded it. We had to make a separate trip later for the damn waffles, though.